Tim's Blog

few things.

2008-05-17T01:13:00.000-07:00

Ok. So it's been quite a while. Sometimes I just have nothing to say. Sometimes everything I want to say shouldn't be posted on the interweb. And sometimes I'm just too busy...and sometimes too lazy. So...a few things that have happened in the past 5 1/2 months since I last posted a lame happy new year blog....

1. I'm going to be a DAD!!!! Yup. That's number one...cuz I'm a number one dad. I know people that have got pregnant before and been like, "We were so surprised!!!" I would then be like, "So you were taking preventative measures?" They would then shake their heads and say no at which point I would be all, "How could you possibly be surprised if you weren't doing anything to prevent anything?!?!?!?!" (I would talk in vague language because I don't like talking about sex.) All that to say - I was totally surprised!!! I made Dawn take 3 pregnancy tests before I believed it! Now I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, still in denial, still freaking out, still trying to play it cool, and still super excited!!!

The other funny thing about the whole baby is that the due date is: December 21st. That week is without a doubt the busiest week of the year for me. This is going to make for a Crazy Christmas...even more than last year.

2. I'm working on a CD with Jenny Vick...the soon to be famous Jenny Vick. Wait til you hear it...some sweet songs coming out of her so be ready.

3. I got my hair cut today.

So that pretty much wraps up my year so far. I would like to blog more, especially about important things...but we'll see.

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-01T23:51:00.000-08:00

Just got back from the Foursquare Youth Summit in Anaheim, CA. Great way to end a year.

Happy New Year to all. Hope yours was great.

I'm not making any resolutions really. I've been trying to get in shape for a few months and I'll keep that up. I've been reading more and I'll keep that up. I've been complaining more and I'll get that down. And I've been blogging quite a bit less, so I need to get back to that.

I don't really resolve to do any of those things though. Partially because I feel like this is going to be a year of changes for me. Going to college was a big change back in '95. I was there for six years and then I had a huge change in coming out to Seattle. I've been here for over six year now and I feel like things are changing.

I'm not talking about moving or changing jobs or anything, but my heart is changing. We'll see what this year brings.

Hope we have a kid this year. (No we're not pregnant.)

Enough said.

Packers and the Gym

2007-11-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving the Packers were playing Detroit and I decided that since I was going to be sitting around eating most of the day I would be proactive and watch the game at the gym. So naturally I put on my Packers hat and went about my normal business at the gym.

I've heard people say that the gym is a great place to meet people, but I actually have only met a couple employees so far. Most people just put on their headphones and stick to themselves so that's what I do too.

But Thanksgiving was way different. During the game so many people talked to me and I met more people than I have in the past 2 months of going there. People were congratulating me and telling me how much they loved the Pack and how excited they were for them this year. I learned where people were from since they would preface by saying, "I'm not from WI, I'm from (insert your city/state here) but I've always been a fan of the Packers."

Anyway, it was a lot of fun. Just goes to show that it only takes a small point of connection for people to open up start conversations.

Busy...

2007-11-07T00:59:00.000-08:00

For those of you wondering why I have fell off the blogosphere (Jenny), let me give you a quick recap of my last month. 1. Unceasing Worship conference which I helped out a lot for. 2. The day after the converence instead of a long awaited vacaction to Mexico, Dawn and I last minute changed out plans and went to Madison, WI to help take care of my dad who has a severe case of trigeminal neuralgia. 2. Helped organize music for our district conference the day after we got back. 3. One week after that I led a music team to Manila for 10 days. 4. Day I got back I had so much work to do to get ready for the Off The Map conference, where I helped out a lot again. So yup, I've been so busy I can barely think, let alone get things out in any understandable manor. So I'm sorry to all who count on me for random thought.

On a side note, I did stay awake for the longest single time ever in my life. 36 hours. I didn't sleep on the flight back from Manila. Got home at 8:00am. Got to work at noon and worked 9 hours (scheduled for 4.) The next day I worked 14 hours so I had no time for jet lag. I don't recomend doing this unless you want to die young.

Getting Rid of Cable?

2007-09-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

If you recall that we bit the bullet and got cable a while back. Well, I'm sick of it. All that fake crap just makes me mad. Selfish relationships, plastic beauty, exessive materialism, and spirituality void of any true meaning. Now I know that not everything is that way, but most of it. In my opinion at least. Maybe I'll rant more about specific shows another time.

Remember when MTV and VH1 played music videos?

Here's the thing. People find more of their identity from these hollow TV shows than they do from the God who created them. If they're on TV, and if they're rich, they must have the good life. Well, they're also addicted to drugs and alcohol, just as insecure as any of us, and unable to keep lasting relationships. They think, and we often infer, that because they can do whatever they want whenever they want, they live a good life. And because they live the good life, so many of us want to live like them.

Sorry but most people with too much money and fame don't have a clue. Or at least any more than you or I do.

So I want to get rid of cable when our price doubles in January. But Dawn doesn't. This will be an ongoing conversation in our house. Any thoughts?

Workin Out

2007-09-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

So Dawn and I got memberships at Gold's Gym a few weeks ago. It's pretty funny when I think about it cuz we're such inactive people. But that's why we needed to. My goal was to get from 194lbs to 179 lbs before we leave for Mexico on Sunday. I weighed in today at 181. 2 lbs left and 5 days. Pretty sure I can do this. After our vacation my goal is to get to 170 and stay there.

I am really noticing a difference in how I feel throughout the day. I have more energy and I'm way more focused. I'm getting more done. I used to think that I was too busy to work out, but I'm getting way more done. Plus, as I'm on the elliptical I've been reading and just finished my second book this month while I jog.

I know I did a massive diet change 5 years ago and lost tons of weight, which was good, but not really healthy. This time I'm losing it at a much safer rate and I'm exercising with it so I don't just lose muscle along with the fatty boom batty only to slow my metabolism and gain it all back.

I'm also now convinced that health is holistic. Body, mind, spirit. I mean, I kinda knew that to be true but never did anything about it. Someday when I'm in charge (of what I don't know, but someday it will happen) I will definately preach taking care of your body.

Christians often talk about being the temple of the Holy Spirit. I've heard so many people condemn smoking and drinking because of that, yet they don't take care of their body either. Hypocritical.

Anyway, go work that temple. God thanks you for it.

Subway

2007-09-12T23:51:00.000-07:00

So I went to a new Subway tonight to get a wrap, cuz I'm trying to eat kinda healthy now days. And it was awesome. I ordered a chicken wrap and the dude working asked if I had ever tried this other kind of chicken. I said no and so he made me another wrap with that chicken and said to see what I like better. I said, "Oh man, I can't eat two of these, I trying to eat right now days." So he said, "Ok, I'll make you a salad then." I left with 2 wraps and a salad. He also offered a drink, but I resisted. Then he said, "You don't look like the kind of guy that's going to call my manager and tell him about this."

All I can say is, I'm going back to that one tomorrow.

And for those who are wondering what happened to my inportant blog presence all summer, I don't know. Where did summer go? So I'm back at it with months full of thoughts to write about. Too bad I didn't start this time.

Bite the Bullet and Restitution

2007-06-23T00:58:00.000-07:00

Well...Dawn and I finally decided to bite the bullet and get our very own internet provider. I have never had to pay for internet before. Throughout college we could get it for free from the school. Then for a couple years I lived with people who had internet. And recently (for the last 3 years) I just would get internet from the neighbor's wireless. But those days of scamming internet are over.

Here's why. Dawn got a new latop of her own. Til now we just shared one. And now that we are both using the internet at home I figured it just is too much to be weighing our neighbors bandwidth down. And Comcast has a new deal now so now is the time.

Paying for internet is a little disheartening to me. I sort of prided myself in always finding free internet. It's like the feeling of knowing where free parking is downtown when everyone else is paying.

So because of all the years of using others' wireless, I'm leaving mine open for my neighbors as well. How's that for restitution?

Confessions of a Failed Evangelist

2007-06-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since I have had the privilege of leading someone to Christ. You can count me in with the majority of evangelistic Christians in America. But I’m a pastor. Evangelism is supposed to be second nature to me. So this is my confession: I’m a failed evangelist.

For a couple years it didn’t bother me, but lately I’ve felt unsatisfied in my journey. I work for my church. I do “ministry” all day long. I’m involved in a lot of things through our church. I have tons of great Christian friends. I believe I’m in the right place at the right time. But something has been missing.

In the past I’ve had a lot of friends that aren’t Christians that would challenge me. They would ask questions. They would make fun of my faith. They would question my morals. But now I work for/with Christians, my family is Christians, and my friends are Christians. I have very few friends that aren’t Christian and it’s not right. I can really feel it.

I’m taking small steps to overcome this disease of mine. I’m in a rut and I need to get out of it.

Mongolian Grill and Tracts

2007-05-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

1st off, I love Mongolian Grill. Years ago when I was on a crazy diet Mongolian Grill was one of the few places that I could eat at. No noodles for me. Lots of vegetables. And Mongolian sauce. Mmmmmmmm.

Tonight when Dawn and I went to eat there. She was paying for the food and waiting for it while I was sitting at a table. (I still can't walk. I normally would wait for the food and carry it, but I couldn't.) As I was sitting there with my crutch (only used one today, which was a big mistake) up against the wall and my leg all bandaged up and stretched into the isle, a lady came up to me looking really nervous and said, "I noticed your leg, could I pray for you? The bible says that God is the great physician and I believe that He wants to heal you now." I replied, "Yeah, go for it." She then prayed that my leg would heal very quickly and handed me a tract. If you don't know what a tract is, it's those one of those pamphlets that Christians hand out on the street or somewhere that tell a little about Jesus and how accept Him into your heart...yada yada yada.

This is my favorite tract...cuz He would have.

Has this happened to you before? It was a little awkward but I was really nice cuz I could see that it took a lot of her faith to do it and I wanted to encourage her. But I have a few critiques on the presentation. 1. She never introduced herself or asked my name. 2. Very nervous and unnatural. 3. Prayed that I would accept Jesus and handed me a tract. 4. She said she felt "led to pray for me."

I'm glad for her attempt though. And maybe I'll get saved from it. But, if she had taken a few more seconds to introduce herself and ask who I was, she wouldn't have had to be so nervous and make a few wrong assumptions. What I do give her is that she was genuine and bold. It takes a lot to ask to pray for a complete stranger.

Cold turkey evangelism has always been weird to me. How about you? Turn on or turn off? The wave of the future or a lost cause? I know 2 people who came to the Lord through those little "turn or burn" pamphlets. What do you think?

Jim & Casper Go To Church

2007-05-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

Is judging a church by its weekend service like judging a book by its cover? Hard to say. You can learn a lot from the cover.

In this book Jim Henderson (former pastor now author and director of Off-The-Map) and Matt Casper (atheist friend) visit sever well known churches around the country and rate each church according to their experience. Most churches did not fare well under their scrutiny. The idea though is not to bash those churches (Saddleback, Willow Creek, Potter’s House, Mars Hill, Mosaic, Lakewood Church, Dream Center, etc) but to give a perspective of what is the purpose of the Church in America.

Is bigger better? Lights, cameras, big screens, huge auditoriums, professional musicians, professional videos, motivational sermons, parking lots full of SUVs, and enormous budgets. “Is this what Jesus told you to do?” asks Casper. What does church look like to those who don’t believe? Is that what God intended for the church to look like?

An obvious critique is the production of services in these mega-churches. Does hype help? Is it needed? Does it manipulate people’s emotions and impose a shallow response? These are good questions that churches, especially large ones where it is a weekly production, need to ask themselves. Big productions need big budgets. Is this where money is best spent? What about giving to the poor? What about community service?

Most large churches do those things too, but is that what they are known for? Is that what celebrity pastors are known for? Their work as community servants or their good looks and eloquent 3 point sermons. Maybe it’s their charisma or their humor or their “down to earth” preaching.

You can look at the ratings they gave churches at www.churchrater.com. You could also rate a church that you visit. What do you think about the idea of rating churches? What do you think about some of the questions they bring up through their conversations?

Sidenote: I don't use the phrase "go to church." Be the Church! How does the churchrater fit into that paradigm?

A Few Loose Skrews

2007-05-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

So I haven't walked for 18 days now. From complications on a surgery I had 8 years ago, I'm immobile again. I just had surgery yesterday and the Doc cleaned up some scar tissue that was getting in the way and found out that my skrew was loose...which confirmed a lot of your suspicions. Anyway, I'm catching up on some reading which has really got me thinking a lot more. Sunday night Dawn and I also started a long awaited and much talked about small group which we are very excited for.

Just wanted to give a little update.

Soup, Steak, Catalyst, and Kite

2007-05-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

"A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate." Proverbs 15:17 NLT

Mmmmmmm...steak. But it true. Hanging out with friends doing nothing is way better than doing something cool with someone you hate. Doing something cool with friends is even better though, but that verse makes a great point. Who is more important than what. Who you do things with trumps what you are doing.

In times where I have to choose between the two I haven't always chosen the best. At times I have thought that there is nothing more important that what I was doing. Or what I would do with my life. My job. My gigs. Even "my ministry."

I remember playing in our worship band in college, Catalyst, and being so concerned with how we played a song and what we did for a worship night that I pushed my thought, plans, and feelings over everyone elses. Dipes would cry when Tom and I fought over how to "do" a song. I was driven. And I knew that my ways to do things was best...yup. Even though I was with my best friends, I treated what we did more importantly that them. I'm suprised the rest of the band didn't for a resistance and overthrow me.

One thing I look forward to every year is vacation with Kite. We always try to do something cool. Go somewhere cool. You know...cuz we're cool. But in the end I'm pretty happy sitting around doing nothing as long as we get to hang out once a year.

Also, I believe that who you are is more important than what you do but that's for another day.

In Christ

2007-04-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a few weeks. Going into Easter gets really busy for me. All the business creates a real longing in me for more intimacy with Jesus. It's probably easy to get the impression that if you work for a church it's really easy to be close to God and that everything you do is mega-spiritual. But it's easy to confuse doing things for Jesus and doing things in Jesus. Doing things for Christ will never fill that God shaped hole like living in Christ. But what is the difference? I will be writing a little more about living in Christ after Easter.

On another note, yesterday was beautiful out. Nicest weather all year so far and I took advantage of it by going on a great ride with Ander Baltzo. Oh man. Amazing. I can't wait to ride all summer.

Delerious?

2007-03-24T10:09:00.001-07:00

Saw Delerious last night at Overlake. Those guys are awesome. They just have a way of drawing you in. They draw you in and point you towards Jesus. Some of their songs are ones that would never work in our church as a congregational song. They talk about issues in their songs and then bring them to the cross. I'd have to say that I loved it.

Rebecca St James was opening. OK. Never really was my favorite music, but her band was really tight.

Vicky Beeching? Where was she? She was on the billing, but not the concert. They didn't even say anything about it. Weird.

"That's a Good Idea" or "Not Worthy to Say You're Worthy"

2007-03-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

In Vietnamese culture you never tell an older person “that’s a good idea.” Even if it is a good idea you wouldn’t say that. For the younger to say that to the older would put the younger on a higher plane. It’s the idea that only the experienced can approve of the less experienced work or idea. For a less experienced person to approve of a more experienced person’s idea would be saying that they know more than the elder. I heard this from a recent podcast of Leonard Sweet.

It has me thinking about a couple things. First, I’m thinking about how I treat elders and people with more experience. Now sometimes the eldest is not always the one with more experience. I’m willing to bet that in Vietnam things don’t actually play out that way, but it’s the concept of an instilled value. I need to repent because I often conclude that what I’m thinking is the best way to approach something. The core of this is humility, something I’m not born with and need a lot of help. One person who helped me a lot was my high school band director, John Georgeson. I don’t even remember what I did; I probably was so proud that I never even realized I did something at the moment. But he took me aside after a rehearsal and said, “If you don’t change your prima donna attitude today, you will not be playing in this band tomorrow.” And that jazz band really was my life. I could go on with other stories about my often hard road to humility but I don’t want to start crying.

Second, I’m thinking about my relationship with God. The title of Len Sweet’s podcast is Not Worthy to say “You’re Worthy.” Could this old Vietnamese adage be applicable to how I view God? What am I saying when I say that He is “worthy of my praise?” It’s an often used phrase in Christian culture, especially in praise music. Is it like telling God “that’s a good idea?” In my initial search through scripture, the closest I found to this was the four creatures in heaven declaring “Worthy is he Lamb that was slain,” and the four creatures and twenty four elders proclaiming “Though art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power.” (Both references are in Rev 4.) However, I don’t see someone like me telling God that He is worthy of MY praise. Who am I to say that my praise is something that I need to decide whether or not God is worthy of?

In response to my own question though, God does give us a choice to praise him. And that may be why songwriters use that terminology. But should we make a distinction between us choosing to praise Him, and us finding Him worthy of praise? Is it just semantics or does it matter? Got me thinking.

Thoughts on The Good Life

2007-03-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

What is the good life? What is good in life? I know that in our culture the good life would commonly be described as a cush job, a big house, a boat, a sport car and a membership at the club. I agree that all sounds pretty good. But often the good life is at a great cost.

How many hours do we work to pay for all those things? How much of our energy is spent? How much of our emotion is put into it? And on an enviromental level, how much of our planets resources are we using up?

Does making more money give you more freedom?

Sometimes I wonder if life was better before computers.

What if all of our decisions were made for a good life? What if the good life was not measured by how much you accumulate, but by how much you gave? What if the true sign of a good life was not the car you drive or the house you live in, or the veiw from it; but a true sign was a healthy relationship. What if the good life was made up of love. That's cheasy.

Challenge: Give up something that you love, but don't need. Let me know what it is and how your excperience goes.

I'm going to give up pop for one week. This is hard because we just got a case of Diet Cherry Coke and I love it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Democratization of Luxury

2007-03-10T09:47:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity to hear Tom Sine talking about the democratization of luxury. This is a trend over the past few decades for the normalization of luxury items. With a little push from the advertising world of pop culture came the idea that everyone deserves at least a little bit of the high life. You need it. Not only do you need it, but you have a right to it. You deserve it. Even though you make $30,000/yr you have a right to buy a $25,000 sport car. This is America and this is how we live.

I have found myself getting caught up in this thinking. I started thinking about the decision that Dawn and I made last year to buy her car. We had enough money from insurance on her old car to buy something nice and reliable, just not very cool. So we made the decision to buy a cooler car for more and take out a loan for part of it. Now we make minimum payments every month.

Some people have the money and that’s awesome. But that’s not the majority of Americans. The majority are in this middle class. And though we may not be rich, we deserve to live like it!

Naturally there are some inevitable outcomes to this lifestyle. Like credit! Eventually most things get paid for…but along the road are many payments. It would take too long to save up those payments and buy it in cash down the road. By that time you may not even want it anymore because it would be out of style. The freedom to buy now and pay eventually (and after a lot of interest) has made slaves of many. Many people are only paying for the interest and not even getting out of dept. That’s the case in our mortgage. Interest only. I know it’s the worst kind of loan to get but that was the only way we could get into the housing market here.

I’m going to write a couple more times on the subject, but here’s a question to think about until then. How has credit affected your life? And what luxury items do you need? Or maybe you don’t think it is a luxury item, it’s just something everyone has, but almost everyone takes out a loan to get. (Motorcycles don’t fall into that category, they are a necessity to life.)

Confession

2007-03-05T22:40:00.000-08:00

I'm into Pastor Jim's series on intimacy with God. Intimacy is something that we all long for. From God and from people. Last weekend he talked about confession in our lives.

Confession isn't my favorite word. Although Pastor Jim also talked about the confession of Christ, that isn't what most people think of when they think of confession. I think about how I've done so much wrong and have a lot to repent of. It's pretty encouraging to talk about confession.

I think of it close to how I would if there were something between friends. What is sin but something that gets inbetween our relationship with God? Something that separates us from Him. Like when there is something between me and a friend. It’s weird to talk, and I avoid that person if possible. Conversations that are had during the period that some issue has come between us feel like they don’t even count. They're just superficial. It’s hard to be close when that happens. It isn’t until we have that pivotal point of reconciliation that the relationship progresses. Confession then is a point of vulnerability to be real with God. God knows what happened. But it’s hard for me to pursue intimacy with God until a confession has happened. That's why God tells us to confess our sins (1 John 1:9.) Confession isn’t a contract to get God back on my side. It's not a payment. It’s for me to be vulnerable enough that I let God reveal himself again.

Lionel Hampton and Kriz Morton

2007-02-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

I love the music. Once again I was left in awe of the skill and musicianship at the main concerts. Truly amazing. But there are a few things I will remember more than that. Here are a few in no paticular order...

Playing with Matt Page and Kriz. I think we really started to play together, which is an awesome feeling.
Kriz snoring.
Hangin with Carly Page for the first time. Very cool.
Denny's.
Knowing that most people we accompanied won first place in the competition.
Watching Sarah Pumphrey sing with the pros, and knowing that Siobhan also should have.
Laughing non-stop 80% of the time, every time, all the time.
When in Rome...

A very memorable few days that rekindled my love for jazz music. Also a weekend of making new friends. Hope to do it again next time.

Welp, see ya later.

Wayne Pumphrey and the Classy Scarf

2007-02-24T22:18:00.000-08:00

Just got home from the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival. Had a great time, of which I'll write more later. One thing happened that I need to write about first. Friday morning Wayne Pumphrey walked out of his motel room and handed me a scarf, asking if I knew who's it was. His words were, "Someone left this really nice scarf at rehearsal last night. Do you know if it's Chris or Matt's? They're classy guys." Am I a bum? Do I not deserve even an honorable mention next to Chris and Matt? Do I look that bad? Did it cross anyone's mind that the scarf could have been mine?

It wasn't mine. It was Matt's. But I did put on a sport coat after that and ask Wayne if it was classy enough. He said that I needed a scarf to go with it. So I ask you, faithful reader. On a scale of 1-10, how would your rate my class? 1 being no class and 10 being ______(I'm trying to think of the most classy person in the world, but I don't know who that would be.)

And on another note, what makes something classy?

Welp, see ya later.

Let The Praises Ring

2007-02-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

It's always a great feeling to be done with a big project. Finishing this CD and getting them out to people has been a large part of my life over the past 9 months. I'm a few hundred hours intimate with it.

The day I get a CD back from the manufacturer is mixed with a lot of emotions. I'm excited, relieved, nervous, proud, humble, happy and sad all at the same time. To put a final and permenant stamp on something that has been ever changing since birth makes me anxious. yet I'm relieved of the stress of making those decisions and sad it's done at the same time. No going back.

I get nervous about what people will think of the CD. I know that most people will like it. There's a few people who I really hope they will like it. And now there's the sales issue. We have to sell so many just to break even. If we don't, I think the chances of doing another are slim.

In the end, I'm really proud of everyone's work and the heart that went into it. What a cool testimony of what God is doing in our congregation. Make sure to pick one up sometime.

What was I thinking?

2007-02-17T11:05:00.000-08:00

I should have wrote about love on V Day. What was I thinking?

Happy Valentines Day

2007-02-14T23:21:00.000-08:00

I try to read my Bible regularily. I wish that I craved it. I try to crave it. Like how David writes about a dear panting for the water. Or Isaiah when he said, "When Your words came I ate them. They were my joy and my hearts delight." Sometimes I feel like that, but not all the time, or even most of the time. But I want to.

So I make rules for myself. Like...no Bible, no breakfast...no playing Nintendo for longer than I've spent in the word...1 year Bible...things like that have always helped. But do they become religious then? Sometimes.

I wished I craved to work out as well. And I wish I craved to go to bed early. Or even more I wish I craved to wake up early.

How do you learn to crave something? And how do you practice discipline without becoming religious? I'm going to get into my Bible now that I've put it off for this dumb blog.

Coming Alive

2007-02-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

I know several people who have told me the time they spent on a mission trip (to Honduras, Manila, Hong Kong, Mexico, etc) was the time that they have felt the closest to God and His will for their life. I'd have to say that's true for myself as well. I have a small theory about it. I think it has less to do with where I am or what I'm doing and a lot to do with where my attention is. In my everyday life I'm just doing my thing. Wake up...brush teeth...eat...work...eat...X files...eat...sleep. I'm expecting the ordinary. However, on a trip everything is extraordinary. It's so much easier to turn my attenting to God. After all, He is the reason I go. I bet that if I lived my normal everyday life with the attention to God and people that I have on a mission trip, things would be very different. Experiment: try this tomorrow.

Why I Don't Go to Church Anymore

2007-02-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

I'm making a change in my life. I'm not going to church anymore. Or at least I'm not going to say I'm going to church anymore. I don't very often, but sometimes I say "I'm going to church." In the week I usually say I'm going to work. But when talking about our services I often find myself saying that I'm going to church. Often I do just because I feel like I would have to explain myself to people and I don't want to take that time.

But I'm really going to try to take that phrase out of my vocabulary. Pastor Jim's series on the church has me thinking more about it. We have talked a lot about the church being the people, but we do small things that imply otherwise. I know it doesn't really change a lot, but maybe a lot of small things will make a difference. The beginning of changing the way we act is just changing how we think.

B-nut has a few words on the subject. Maybe he'll post a link to a few of his posts.

Grand Canyon

2007-01-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy the beauty of God's creation. Did he really create this just for our pleasure? Too bad he didn't put it closer to the city. Had to go to AZ to gaze on this spectacle. Well worth it.

This post reminds me of many of Matt Messner's blogs. He has a nack for finding some of the best views and posting pics.

I had never been to AZ before and I had an awesome time, mosty because I loved hanging out with friends I don't see very often. But I did realize that Seattle has become home for me. As much as I love WI where I grew up and have so many great memories. And as much as I love to see the world. I love to come home to Seattle. And it's nice to know that.

Disguises

2007-01-24T22:57:00.000-08:00

I went on vacation this last week and it was great. Kite and I met in Phoenix and then went up to Flagstaff to surprise Dipes for his birthday. He didn't know we were coming, but we still thought that disguises would add to the element of surprise. Yup, got him good. He was teaching at IV that night. At the end a student invited us up to tell a couple embarrassing stories about Dipes and sing him happy birthday. That's the short version of the story.

Other highlights include a night tour of the dirt trails of Flagstaff after 8 inches of snow just fell. Thanks to Dipes' friend Mike for the awesome time in his 4x4. A few times I really was afraid for my life. The Grand Canyon was more beautiful than I had imagined, especially after the snow. Very cold though. It was fun to hang out with Dipes' family for the couple days. And it was so much fun playing Big Bumpin, one of those Burger King games, with them. 100% fun.

Going to Phoenix for a couple days was cool too. It's a fun town. The ASU campus is huge. Got to see Erin Hargis at her school, Grand Canyon University and had some amazing pizza with her.

It was an awesome and well needed vacation for me. I realized that I haven't taken time off since last July, except to do other work. The three of us noted that none of us had laughed as much as we did last weekend for months. I think that's a bad thing. I need to take more time to enjoy life. A big part of living life to the fullest is enjoying family, friends and God's creation. Take time to live.

Dipes's Birthday

2007-01-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

Today is Dipes's birthday. Happy 29 to you Dipes. Surprise! Kite and I are staying at your house for a few days. Hope you don't mind.

Dipes's Blog

2007-01-17T01:47:00.000-08:00

1. Dipes's is the appropriate punctuation so don't knock it.

2. The thing I like about his blog is that you don't even have to read it. You can just look at the pictures and pretty much know everything he's writing about. I need to learn to use more pictures.

Church R Us

2007-01-17T00:26:00.000-08:00

Pastor Jim's current series at Eastside is titled "Church R Us." In his blog he writes, "I don't think of the church primarily as a group but as individuals. How do you feel about this paradigm of 'church'? If the church is people and not groups, places, things or programs...what are the implications to each one of us personally?" My first thought is that I don't think of church as individuals. I think of it as community. Kind of relates to my blog about my not personal relationship with Christ. Again that ever so familiar verse comes to mind in which God sent His son to save the world, not the individual. He saves us induvidually so I don't know if I'm just talking about semantics or if there is a different practicality that comes from community vs individual thinking. The church of Acts sure is community minded yet the community didn't seem to overlook any 'one' in need.

I would ask, "If the church is community and not groups, places, things or programs...what are the implications?" In my thinking I believe that the church is most expressive, loving, Christ-like, and effective when living in community. Individuals were added to their numbers daily but their strenth was in their community with each other and with God.

I know it's possible that I only actually have a few ideas (that I got from other people) and community is one and so every topic relates back to it. And so I write about it again and again. But I believe Church R Us is more appropriate that Church R Me. I'm only a part of the body of Christ, and a small part at that. I am in awe when I see glimpses of what God does when the whole body moves.

Practically, I believe this community lived out breaks down walls of ethnicity, style, economic status, age, denomination, maturity, and culture. This community reaches out in love to the unloved and even the unloving. This community is more concerned about others than it is for itself. This community is loving, accepting and forgiving. The personal implication is the fact that this community is comprised of and subject to every individual decision and action.

Those are some initial thoughts on the paradigm of church Pastor Jim is teaching about. I really like this series so I'll probably have some more to write about he continues.

Happy Birthday Dawn!!

2007-01-11T01:30:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to my favorite wife, Dawn!!!! 26. Dawn, you're my favorite. Have a blessed year. That sounded really not me. Dawn, have a nice life...that's more like it. I love you!!

Maggiano's with Sean and April

2007-01-07T23:50:00.000-08:00

Maggiano's with Sean and April tonight was great. Oh man that food is good, and you get so much of it. But our conversation was even better. Here's a snapshot of our dinner thoughts.

Every year the Christmas Eve services at EFC culminate in the candle lighting ceremony. Everyone stands with their lit candles and it looks awesome in the room. Then the tradition is to extinguish your candle when they call off the number of years that you have been following Jesus. 10 years and under please extinguish your candle and have a seat. 20 years and under...that's when I sat down. 30 years and under...that's when Dawn sat down, which is the point of this blog. Dawn says that she can't remember a day without knowing Jesus so she counts from her first memory. She grew up in a Christian family and without a doubt had heard about Jesus since she was born. I also grew up in the same circumstances, but I first of all don't count time as knowing Jesus when I was too young to make any decisions (especially the most important on of my life) and second, I knew Jesus, but did not follow Him. I made a lasting decision to follow Jesus when I was 15. That's when I first had a desire to know Him and live for Him. I don't count the 15 years of my life that I knew about Jesus, went to church, and even lived by Christian ethics, but I do count the time since I began to get into His word and find out who He is for myself.

So the question is: what would you count and why? If you're a Christian, for how long has it been? Do you remember a moment or period of time or is it something that's just always been a part of you?

My first thought is that this question cannot even be answered by us. Who gives salvation? It's more that a decision we make, it's the grace of God for those who believe. What does it mean to believe? We could talk about faith and works for days, but I'll leave it right here for now. Got me thinking about it again.

Side note: it's awesome to see people who have been following Jesus for over 80 years. Inspiring.

Nathan Roberts

2007-01-06T22:52:00.000-08:00

This one goes out to Nathan Roberts. Bass playing and tuba stylings. Reads my blog but never comments. Manila was great with Nathan. His heart changed when he was there. Before the trip he was all, "I'm going to Manila, but there's no way I'm going again next year...I'm going to Australia." But at the end of the trip he said he may want to return to Manila rather than Australia. Who can blame him after meeting all the amazing people there? And is there a great cause to give a week of your life too? So Nathan, are you going to come to Manila with me again this year? (Comment required.)

Kellie Olson & Thom Collins

2007-01-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

I had a great time last week recording a few of Kellie Olson's songs with her. She's a great song writer and has a cool voice with great style. It inspires me to see young talents like Kellie using their gifts to glorify God. Recording isn't easy, but Kellie did a great job and I'm excited to finish the songs.

Thom Collins also did a great job producing. He's been in the military and been a police officer, but is now following his dreams in a music career. He has an awesome heart for the Lord and a great ear. He's showing me how crucial mic placement is.

Wait til you hear Kellie's songs and Thom's production. I think everyone will really like it.

Marry New Year!!

2007-01-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to everyone!

God bless!

Happy Christmas!

2006-12-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas everyone! Hope everyone had a great time with family and friends. We had the Bartmans (my sister's family), the Webers (Dawn's parent and bros) and the Houstons (Dawn's grandparents) over for a great dinner that Dawn prepared. Oh man it was great. I've been trying to eat less and more healthy, but who could resist?

Last year was Dawn and my first Christmas together and she was in the hospital for the whole time. Our families brought gifts to the hospital and took up a waiting room. Dawn was on drugs so it was pretty funny. Very memorable, but I'm thinking our new tradition of having people to our house was nicer.

After an extremely busy month it sure was nice to just hang out with family for the day. Today we're going to see the Dead Seas Scrolls so I'm excited for that too. I think I'll have something more to write about after that.

Let the Praises Ring

2006-12-23T10:14:00.000-08:00

Almost done with this CD of EFC musicians that we started in May. It's taken quite a bit longer than I had anticipated and been a lot more work than I had hoped. I have to thank my wife Dawn for being so patient with me spending a majority of my "days off" working in the studio all summer, fall and especially this Christmas season. I love her so much.

Heard the first pre-mixes of each song this week and I'm really excited for the realease next month. I'm really proud of everyone's contributions to this album and I'm praying that God blesses many people with it.

A highlight for me was hearing good mixes of a couple new songs of mine. I'm always pretty nervous sharing new songs with people, but I really like the way these turned out. Hope you do too.

Mall

2006-12-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

I can work and focus intensly for ten hours in the studio, but ten minutes at the mall wears me out. I get really tired, loose any attention I have, and just kind of become a zombie. If I'm going to do good I need to get any shopping done in less than ten minutes, which is especially hard this time of year. Every line is more than ten minutes. So, I just can't go to the mall. Probably wouldn't get a parking space anyway.

Does this happen to anyone else? Is there a name for my disease?

Christmas Spirit

2006-12-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

I'm going to get into the Christmas spirit yet. Just doesn't feel like it's 3 days until Christmas. I'm going to suprise Dawn and do something Christmassy. I don't know what yet. So....any advice would be appreciated.

Handel's Messiah

2006-12-17T00:18:00.000-08:00

One of my fondest memories happend last week the night the power went out. We were in the middle of one of our biggest rehearsals of the year with the choir and orchestra when the power went out. The emergency flood lights came on in the auditorium and we had a number of flash lights. So the rehearsal went on. Listening to Handel's Messiah in the dard that night when I was holding a flashlight on Tim (Salzman, the conductor) and he was using a small flashlight as a baton was great. Very pretty and down to earth without all the mics and AV that normally make what we do possible. I still love it when it come down to the heart of it. Hallelujah! What a great memory of our music team at EFC. Thanks to all who were there!

Why give?

2006-12-17T00:17:00.000-08:00

Saturday night service at EFC was awesome. Surely one I'll always remember. What made it so unique was the fact that we, as well as most of the NE side of Seattle lost power. It was supposed to be our biggest music weekend of the year, but had to be cancelled. So we met in the mod Sat night with a generator running the power. There was less than 100 people that venured out of their cold homes.

With this kind of setting the things we usually do as a big church fall aside and we get to the core of who we are. We met in small groups and Pastor Jim asked this question, "Why do we give gifts at Christmas time?"

I think some of the tradition of gift giving is drawn from the kings who brought gifts to Jesus. Also the fact that Jesus was a gift from God. But why do WE give? Why do I give? We give because we love. Giving is an expression of love. We give to God and we give to others just as Jesus did. God loved the world so He gave His only son.

It's easy to give when you love. Love is even greater than reason when it comes to giving. It just happens. When you really love something is doesn't matter the cost. I can easily give to someone I love. The harder part then is learning to love. Deciding to love.

God, help me to love!

Power to the People!

2006-12-16T10:07:00.000-08:00

We have power! Thankfully we have power right now, but over a million homes and businesses lost power Thursday night in the Puget Sound area. It's almost Sat night now and still no power for most of those people. A big storm blew threw with hard rain and wind gusts up to 65 mph in our area knocking out power all over the place. Jill and Tom and the kids are staying with us right now because they don't have power at their house. To make it worse the temperature dropped below freezing at nights so all the people without power are freezing.

One small effect in the big picture, but big in my life is the fact that our Church's building still has no power. This is the biggest music weekend of the year at Eastside. "The Music of Christmas" I've spent hours and hours and hours working on it. I've spent my days off in the office arranging music and planning. Not to mention all of the people who have comitted time and energy to it. But without power, we had to cancel it.

I kind of like it when things like this happen. You know, throws you off a little. I'm really bummed that we didn't get to play the music, but life goes on. Things like this give a little perspective of the big picture. Like how small I really am. And it brings home what's really important in life. Not everything important runs on electricity.

Top 10 Things About the Big Wind Storm Knocking Out Electricity:

10. Schools were canceled yet again due to weather.
9. Tom, Jill, Josiah and Alex stayed at our house for a couple days.
8. Sat night service at Eastside was awesome fun in the mod.
7. Everyone had something in common for a while so starting conversation was easy, even with strangers.
6. Our house still had electricity so I stayed up late watching season 5 of 24.
5. Lots of people didn't shower for days.
4. Didn't get a lot of work done.
3. No mail = no bills.
2. Tom made breakfast at our house in the morning. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
1. Rehearsing Handel's Messiah with no power in Eastside's auditorium. (More to come.)

There you have it. I guess I'm pretty thankful for what God's doing in the midst of chaos. Makes me love him more.

Julia

2006-12-11T01:14:00.000-08:00

Today Dawn and I went to our friends, the Pearsons. They're an awesome family with three kids. The twins, Jordan and Joel, are very cool. Quiet at first but I think they're opening up to us. Who am I kidding, they like Dawn way more than me. But Julia, their adopted girl from China likes me. She must be almost 2 soon. I love going over to see their family because Dawn and I also want to adopt a girl from China. Aparently adopting parents have to be at least 30, so I'm waiting for Dawn to catch up.

Speaking of adopting, I'm praying that things keep moving ahead for the Calvos to adopt a kid from Guatemala. Keep praying.

I once heard someone say that if you're pro-life, you should adopt a kid. I don't know if that's the logical outcome of being pr0-life for everyone, but it is the outcome for me. Another outcome would definately be protesting abortion clinics and yelling profanities at young, scared and confused girls going in for an abortion. And if that doesn't help them see the light, then just shooting people at abortion clinics works very well. Just another step towards saving the world.

Tribute to Jon Pugh and Snow Storms

2006-12-08T22:54:00.000-08:00

First of all, Jon Pugh is an amazing cornet play. I was honored to have the chance to play some jazz with him this week. But tonight what left me thinking how great he is, is his personality. He is truly interested in people. He doesn't talk about himself, though he has some incredible stories. He asks great questions. And he thanks you for sharing your life with him. He has charisma. After talking with him you feel like you have been affirmed. You leave feeling better about yourself. He doesn't get you to like him by telling all the cool things that he's done, or dropping names, or hyping things up. But because he asked about my life, I like him even more. But I have to admit that I failed that conversation. After he asked about my life, I didn't ask him more about his.

I'm reading a book called "a.k.a. The Lost" by Jim Henderson. It's about small talk, ordinary things, and small steps to normalizing evangelism. I've been thinking a lot more about the power of conversation. Last week in our big snow storm I was at work. People were coming in to our church's builing to use the bathroom or phone or something after being in their cars for hours and barely moving. I got to meet some people and sat around and talked for a couple hours. A couple people had been to our church's service before, but didn't feel at home. Last weekend I saw them again and got to say hi. They told me how much they loved it. I think it was the power of conversation and just being there for them when they needed.

So, I'm being much more intentional about doing the little things that matter. You never know what God is going to use to show himself to someone, and it might just be me. Or you. It was hard for me to sit around and talk to people when I was really behind on work, but it may have been the most important thing I did all week.

Justin & Marissa

2006-12-02T23:40:00.000-08:00

I had a lot of fun hangin out with Justin & Marissa tonight. I've known Justin for years. He was actually a student in the youth group in Eau Claire when I was the youth director there. He was up here in Seattle with his girlfriend Marissa visiting friends and seeing the city for the weekend. It's always great to catch up with friends and make new ones. I'm really excited for the opportunities that Justin has in his life right now. I wish we had more than a few hours to hang out. Began some great conversations with them. And I love giving the "Poor Man's" tour of Seattle...aka..."10 Things I Hate About You tour."

One thing we were talking about was personal values. Justin and I live with a lot of the same values; like enjoing creation, relationships, honesty, integrity, having fun, etc. On the other hand, we have taken different roads in life and have some contrasting values. Justin says that he's living in sin according to what he was tought at church. They've been living together for a while which I guess is the most blatent of our value differences. Now, I don't condone dating couples living together, but that would never disqualify someone from being a great friend. Justin will always be a good friend of mine. I was glad that Justin could be honest with me. That means a lot more than being someone you're not. In Justin's words, "Things went well, to the point of Tim actually saying "You do realize that you're talking to a PASTOR right? I'm a pastor!" a sign I wasn't putting up any false fronts about who I am and what I believe."

I dropped them off and invited them to visit Seattle again and stay longer than a weekend. As I was driving home, thinking about how much I like to hang out and talk with Justin and how great it was to finally meet Marissa, I thought about what it would be like to have them over to stay with us sometime. I've never had a couple stay over and share a room when they weren't married. Would it be weird? Is it ethical? Can Dawn and I as pastors invite a couple who's living together and not married to stay at our house? What does that say? Is it loving, accepting and forgiving? Or is it enabling? Would it be different if we weren't pastors? Is it approving of a life style I believe leads to more harm than good?

Either way, Justin's a great guy and I hope to see them again soon.

My Not Personal Relationship with Christ

2006-11-29T00:53:00.000-08:00

Baptizer: Do you,(insert your name), believe that Jesus is the Son of God?

Baptizee: Yes.

Baptizer: Have you accepted Him as your personal Lord and Savior?

Baptizee: Yes.

Baptizer: Upon your confession of faith I now baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

That’s how baptisms go at our church. A lot of churches use some variation on that theme of Baptism. For years one phrase has stood out to me and I’m going to get this off my chest. Personal Lord and Savior. Where does that phrase come from? Churches also us that phrase when there’s an altar call of some sort. You know, “Raise your hand if you would like Jesus to be you personal Lord and Savior.” I wonder what its origins are? I could be wrong, but I can’t find the phrase in the Bible. (If it’s actually in there, I’m going to feel very stupid cuz I can’t find it.) My guess is that it comes out of a religious church culture that’s now emphasizing the relationship aspect of our journey with Christ. Its intent is to say that you have personally made the choice to believe in Christ.

I understand that in the end, when it comes down to it and I’m on my knees before God making accounts for everything that I’ve done, I am the only one accountable for my own actions. And I deeply believe in a relationship with the living God. But personal doesn’t say that to me. I think it implies a couple other things.

Personal implies that it’s no one else’s business. Like I said, no one else can account for me before God. But when I say something is personal that means I’m not going to share it with everyone. Well my walk with Christ is anything but personal in that aspect. I need to talk about it. God tells us to talk about it and Jesus modeled what that looks like. I’ve talked with people who say their relationship with God is personal and they would rather not talk about it. Some people won’t pray out loud with others for the same reason. Don’t take this to personal, but get over it!

Personal also says that something applies to me that does not everyone else or that it varies from person to person. Like personalized plates or checks. Is your personal savior different from my personal savior? As a Christian, Jesus is my savior. Well a couple billion people say that Jesus is their savior, how personalized is that? I understand that my relationship with Matt Simmons is different from my relationship with Matt Page, and my walk with Christ looks different than Matt’s. I think if it were up to us to define out relationship with God then it would be personal, but God defines our relationship. Like how he defines how we worship; “This mountain or that mountain, I don’t care, but worship in Spirit and in Truth.” The Bible also says that God so love the WORLD. Jesus is the savior of everyone, and everyone is saved by grace through faith and not of our own attempts at righteousness. It’s the same for everyone.

I know, maybe I’m digging to deep and if you dig deep enough you can always argue about semantics. Maybe I’m reading into it too much when they just mean that you personally have made the choice. Maybe my personal view is narrow. But when we say personal Lord and Savior we leave out a whole community. Jesus refers to Christians as a body. Not just a bunch of separate parts doing their own personal things. When we profess Jesus as Lord of our life, we join a community that’s very important to God. That’s why he would leave the 99 to bring the one back home.

A personal Lord and Savior could imply that we don’t worship together. It could imply that we don’t share that relationship with others. It could imply that we make it out to be what we want it to be. Or I could have just inferred it all. Either way, I think our baptisms should ask, “Have you personally accepted Jesus as THE Lord and Savior?” That makes more sense to me, but what do you think?

been a while...

2006-11-18T11:39:00.000-08:00

Ok...I'm going to bite the bullet and get our very own internet at our house. This is because we have Downtown living with us now and paying some rent. I feel bad if we are both slowing down my neighbors internet. So I'm looking into it now.

Also, I've been learning a lot lately. Reading more. Thinking more. So I have some things to talk about. Check back...that's what I'm saying.

No Internet

2006-09-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

Well, looks like I took the summer off. A bit unintentional. Our new place doesn't have that beautiful free wireless from our neighbor. There's a network open that I pick up but it doesn't let me use it. So, my blogging future is up in the air. Maybe we need to bite the bullet and get our own internet.

Closing

2006-06-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

We close on our townhouse next week while we are in WI. Makes it a little more work, but I think it's all covered now. This is very exciting get our own place. And it's a cool place and everyone's invited to come hang out whenever.

Vacation to WI where Dawn can finally meet most of my relatives. Don't know if I'll get a blog in, as if I've been very consistant in the first place. Peace.

A Song I Don't Really Like...Here's Why

2006-06-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a song I'm writing...

You're all I want
You're all I ever live for
Everything I do is for you
You're all I think about
I live for You alone
You're my God

Ok, that's no song and it's no song I'm writing. I would not be able to sing it very often. I'm thinking about how God has called us to worship him in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24. In a conversation with Pastor Jim last night we talked about what this means because I want to be the kind of worshipper who worships the way God wants. (On a side note, I do believe that God defines worship, not us.) I believe that to worship in Spirit and Truth means a few thing. 1) It is from our heart, or spirit. It is emotional. As God gives us his heart, we give him ours. 2) Only worshipping in spirit is not enough. 3) Truth is reality. And not just our reality, but God's reality. Pastor Jim showed me that the original context of that word is connected to learning and growing. Worship is to change. The truth is who God is. As He reveals that to us through worship, we are changed. It's more than emotional and more than intellectual.

So I think about songs like the one above, with many lines from other songs (even ones I've written); is it true? I don't live out any of those lines all the time. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes it really is my heart, but I still don't. I know our heart matters a lot. But when I don't live the things that I sometimes sing about is that insulting? If someone were to say those things to me but live totally different I would be insulted. I view it as hypocrytical.

What do you think? Can one worship in spirit and truth with songs like that?

Disclaimer: I know that worship is a lot more that songs, but for now that's the context of the question. I am a music director.

Bills

2006-06-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Oh it feels good to have the bills paid. Last month I kinda forgot, but not really. See, I knew they were there, but I hadn't looked at them, so I really had no idea what they were (as if they change from month to month.) I do the bills at our house. Dawn is always asking me to make a list of our bills and due dates just in case anything happened to me and she had to do them, but I haven't yet. (But I did make a list of different online accounts that we have...that's pretty close.) Anyways, I paid all of our bills (phone, student loadn, energy, insurance) and it feels good.

Having no unpaid bills out there is a great feeling. Feels free. Probably why God warns us about going into dept. That's what makes me nervous about this whole buying a townhouse thing. It makes sense to me, but it's weird that in order to save money and gain equity, most people have to go way in dept.

This all reminded me that I have another doctor bill to pay. I just got a bill from the surgery I had on my thumb over a year ago.

Who pays your bills? Does your dept make you nervous ever?

Some Lyrics

2006-05-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

Here's some lyrics to a song I finished this last week. It will be a song on our church's CD we're working on now. Enjoy.

Verse 1
The Lord is good and His mercy endures
Forever in the heavens and the earth
The Lord is good and His mercy reaches me
The Lord is good and His love is shining forth
Brighter than the sun and moon and stars
The love of God shines bright for all to see

Chorus
Jesus Christ, Your sacrifice
Covers me, I am redeemed
I am not what I used to be
I live my life, to glorify
All you are with all of me
You are my God, You are my King

Verse 2
The Lord is good and His faithfulness remains
A perfect love that will never away
Always and forever You’re the same
The Lord is good He is worthy of all praise
I will Him up above all names
The Lord is good He worthy of my praise

Picture

2006-05-24T00:07:00.000-07:00

Seven or eight years ago I was in a really bad car accident. It was pretty impactful on my life. Those few seconds shaped my personality, my physical condition, my theology, my finances, my relationships and my perspective. To remember that and mark that time when God helped me I keep a picture of me taken the morning after the accident. My face was all scared and bandaged and stitched. My eyes were swolen. My hair all over the place. I was wearing some clothes that they had in the lost and found at the hospital. I needed a cane to move around. Anyways, I keep this picture in my Bible so that I'm reminded of God's provision. Kind of how Samuel made a pile of rocks when God helped the Israelites. People walked by and remembered why the pile of rocks was there and praised God for His help. I do that with a picture.

Tonight I was pretty sad when I walked into the living room and saw that the picture must have falled out of my Bible and Harley (our dog) had ripped it up. I put him to bed early.

Do you have anything like that? Something that you keep to remind you of a time or trial in you life that God helped you through?

Another weird thing about Canadia

2006-05-20T22:16:00.000-07:00

Canadian TV is weird. I think anything goes. And they're proud of it. A commercial for the network Showcase says, "Every day countless people push their personal boundaries. Showcase.ca pays tribute with a series of video clips of everyday viewers pushing their own personal boundaries as a result of tuning in." And then it shows housewives growing marijuana, married couples cheating on each other, homosexual lifestyles...you get the picture. That kind of blatent promotion of immorality is really the normal now. I do think there is something to be done about it as a Christian. Not sit around and talk about how we can't believe it and how wrong those people are. Not talk about how we're glad that we aren't like that. And not plan for a more powerful service next Sunday morning. I believe that Jesus called us to be the salt of the earth. A salt that preserves. So our presence in a messed up world is crucial. We need to be there, be real, and live for God. We need to love and not run or shut out. I say this because my first reaction is to push it aside. But I need to engage culture. How does one do that? What are some small, everyday things that engage culture in the truth of Jesus?

Canadia

2006-05-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

I had a totally crazy experience. I went up to Vancouver, BC for a couple days with my good friend Kite. I love that city. It's cool how all the windows are the same color in all those sky scrapers. And the weather was perfect. It was like 25 the whole time. I don't know what that is in American, but it felt great. So we were walking around at night and like every downtown of a large city there were some people out asking for some $. But this was weird. One lady was deaf and mute. She had a sign that asked for some help. When we walked by she handed us a little piece of paper that said she needed money. I handed the paper back and said no...and shook my head. Then she gave it back and looked frustrated with the whole thing. I waved my hands and shook my head "no." I tried to just smile and keep on walking, but she grabbed my arm. I looked at her somewhat confused at that point as she made some noise and then punched me in the arm. I didn't expect that. It didn't really hurt but the fact that she punched me for not giving her $ blew me away. I was a little mad, but also felt really bad. I wonder what kind of day she had that got her to that point? Should I have given her a couple bucks then? I didn't. Thinking about it now I wish I would have, but then again, she did punch me and I don't usually pay people for that. What would you have done?

God, do you have a condo I could buy....for cheap?

2006-05-06T00:14:00.000-07:00

The past months I've been looking and getting a feel for Condos in our area. Our lease is up in July for our apartment so Dawn and I thought it would be a good time to get a condo and stop renting. We found a place we really loved, put an offer in (over asking price) and were totally outbid. So we detatched any emotions we already invested in that place (you do invest emotions when you're talking a couple hundred thousand bucks) and moved them to another place. But once again we were outbid. It was pretty intense for me. I had never thought of the psyche of purchasing a home. It can be an emotional rollercoster. Hopes, dreams, timing, waiting, suspense, rejoicing, disapointment, bitterness, trust, frustration....

But I'm learning to trust God some more everyday.

Easter

2006-04-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

Easter was busy. Dawn was gone in Mississippi, my mom was out here staying at my apartment, and we had rehearsals or services every night. It was a lot of fun though. That's to explain my lack of blog efforts. I plan on getting back on track. Here's a previed of a song I'm working on.

Salvation song
This song I sing of Your salvation
Born again a new creation
The old is gone, the new has come
Sing praises to the Saving One
This song, it pours out from my soul
Salvation’s come once and for all
From the darkness into Your light
You saved me from the longest night

I'll post the rest when I finish.

Worship a Decision?

2006-03-29T12:03:00.000-08:00

Is worship a decision that we make? I've heard it said that it is. I'm not convinced though. I understand the reasoning behind that thinking though. The idea that worship has a lot to do with our heart attitude and our motives, and I believe those are decisions that we make. So if we do something with the right motive to glorify God, it is then worship. If we have the right attitude, it's worship?

Here's where that falls through for me. Is it possible for someone to do something wrong with the right attitude? Maybe out of ignorance, or lack of experience or maturity. Or maybe they were decieved. I have done that. I have called things worship in my life that I now don't believe they were. But at the time, I believed I had the right attitude.

Who defines something as worship? Us and our attitude? I think God does. Sometimes people ask me, "How was the worship today?" My response is, "You'll have to ask God about that one." God defines the terms of worship. Jesus said that God is looking for poeple to worship Him in spirit and truth. That's another topic, but I believe that Jesus defined the terms of what we call worship.

Had a great discussion about it with a few students lately so it's been on my mind. Any other thoughts?

Hit and Run

2006-03-24T00:34:00.000-08:00

I hit a parked car today...yeah, pretty much. I was backing out of a space at the Kirkland Guitar Center, which has a terrible parking lot, and then I barely rubbed up to the corner of another car. The car was like half out of their slot. If they were parked right, I would have had no problem. But they weren't and before I knew it, I was backed into the corner of their car. The car was pretty beat up and like 20 years old and rusting. I couldn't really tell if I even marked up the car since it was in pretty bad shape.

So I was in a situation of charactor building. I was in a hurry to get back to the office for a meeting. Should I stay? Should I look for the owner? It looked like a starving musician's car so I was pretty sure they were in Guitar Center. Do I leave a note? Do I just take off? They would probably never know.

I decided to leave a note on their car with my phone #. They called a couple hours later. I was so nervous when I didn't recognize the # calling me. The last thing I need is for someone to try to get more $ out of me than their car is worth. I imagined it being a pain bringing it to different body shops and getting quotes. All the time...all the money. Well, when I answered, the dude just said that he couldn't see any damage so don't worry about it. Man what a relief!

Have you had a similar situation? What would you have done in mine?

Fullness of Christ

2006-03-11T23:02:00.000-08:00

Pastor Jim's sermon this weekend was impactful (plus he was really funny.) It was a reminder if the importance of community growth. Ephesians 4 says, "From him (Jesus) the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." The body builds itself up. I don't build myself up and let you build yourself up. Pastor Jim concluded reminding us that our relationship with Jesus is personal, but not private. It was never meant to be private. We are meant to grow together, and I would venture to say that we cannot grow in isolation.

Since we are meant to do this together as a body, Paul goes on to give a lot of practical advice in Eph 4 about how to get along together. "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." That is part of the supporting ligament that holds the body together.

Is experiencing the fullness of Christ then dependent on other people? Is it dependent on the people who I don't understand? Is it dependent on people I don't get along with? Maybe that's part of experiencing Christ. Maybe that's part of dying to ourselves.

How then do I build up the people around me? What is my part in this body? What's yours?

Am I a thief?

2006-03-06T01:14:00.000-08:00

So...here's the thing. One of my neighbors, I don't know which, has a wireless network set up. And their network goes into my airspace in my apartment and my computer can't help but pick it up and connect. And so I use it. I actually pic up like 4 or 5 networks, but most people block theirs in our complex. Now I figure that if they didn't want anyone to use it they would encrypt it, but this one doesn't, so I use it everyday. I'm not going to pay for my own network when I can use this one. Some have told me that I'm stealing, but I don't see it that way. Is it stealing? Am I a thief? What do you think?

Jazz

2006-02-20T23:31:00.000-08:00

Here's what I love about jazz. It's 90% improvisation. Made up as you go. Different everytime. One player does something and the others respond, or compliment, or copy, or take the idea further. You play off of each other. There a chemistry. You can rehearse. You can study and prepare. You can practice your butt off. You can know style and own it. But it's still improvised.

That's life. As much as I practice and prepare I'm still improvizing as I go. Some parts don't go where I imagined. Sometimes parts clash. Sometimes I miss notes. Sometimes I get lost. Sometimes I'm out of tune. And sometimes there's beautiful music. That's life...and I love it.

I'm going to a jazz fest the next few days and I'm excited.

Fabrication

2006-02-18T01:45:00.000-08:00

Cecil wrote a great blog about the fabrication of church. Check it out here. This is some of my response...

Is church a fabricated place? Well…first off, it’s hard to talk about church as a place, because it isn’t. But I understand the intent of the question. Does cheesy music at an altar call lessen my intent of laying things down before the Lord? Was I impressed by the power of God or the pastor’s eloquent delivery? Am I infatuated with lights and sound or in love with God? Do I need these to make God appealing to a society that is so fabricated? Do I need to mass market Jesus?

I think that many people are frustrated because of what Steve writes about. When so much is put into a short weekend service it’s just easy to feel the presence of God. But is it becoming a spiritual junk food? A fix? Do I need the lights to see Jesus, or can I see him in my daily routine? Do I need a great band and sound system and video screen to sing to Jesus? What if all that was taken away, what would the church gatherings look like? What are we teaching by how we “do” church? “Do” is in quotes because I don’t think we do church, we are church. Worship isn’t something we do at a weekend service for an hour and then stop. Worship is who we are.

Let’s say that some of it is fabricated. Is that wrong? Does that make the decisions and the worship offered in church gatherings cheap? I don’t want to be presumptuous and say it’s up to me to determine the quality of something offered to God in worship. It’s a hard question. Let me know your thoughts.

Racism

2006-02-12T00:02:00.000-08:00

Check this out. Tom showed this to me a while ago. It's hard for me to comprehend what is going through their minds. Their ignorance is so frustrating. But still today so many people live hating others because of race and ethnicity. What do you think of the video? How does it make you feel? How does it make you act?

Religious Attitude

2006-02-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

I read my Bible almost everyday. I have for over thirteen years now. Before that I never really did. Some days I feel like it and some days I don't. Some days I get a lot from it and some days I don't. It's like that for all of us. Some times we go through spiritual dry spells. We read our Bible, pray, go to church, give some money, sing some songs, and even wear a WWJD bracelet. Often at the point where we don't see the immediate return we call all of those things religious. And we don't want to be religious like those Pharisees. So the easiest conclusion would be to quit doing those things or change the way we do them, which is fine because once they become religious they do little good.

But here's what I think. Being religious has little to do with what you are actually doing. It has a lot to do with the attitude that you do things with. So when what you do becomes religious, the first stop may not be what you are doing, but your heart. Of course that's harder to see and harder to change. We can't really quantify that very well. We can't quantify being religious either.

For instance, say you pray at 5 specified times of the day and you face a certain direction towards a holy place when you do it. You get on your knees and say the same words every day. One day you realize that what you're doing has lost meaning to you. What would you do? Scrap that tradition? Stop praying altogether? Pray to another God? Pray with your fingers crossed? Or change your attitude? Obviously, it's different for every person and every situation. Sometimes we need to change what we are doing. Sometimes we don't. I think our first check should be the heart, and then what we do. I don't mean to over generalize, but sometimes we miss out because we think it's what we are doing that makes it religious.

What do you think? What do you do to get out of a religious rut?

Chuck Norris

2006-02-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

Chuck Norris vs Chuck Norris. Who would win?

Thanks Grube.

Everyone's talking about Church Norris. Chuck Norris jokes are flying everywhere. Maybe I missed something, but how come? He's been around forever but the last couple weeks that's the only jokes I've heard. Anyways, I like it.

"Pray to Play" - "Play to Pray"

2006-02-02T23:05:00.000-08:00

Matt Messner reminded me of an old habit I had in college. I would practice bass a lot everyday and if you looked at my schedule it may appear that playing bass was an idol of some sort because of the time that I spent at it. It probably could have easily become a god to me but I put a couple things into perspective. I had a little sign on my bass case that read "Pray to Play" and "Play to Pray."

"Pray to Play" reminded me to thank God for music, for the chance to make music, for talents, for talented people to play with, for a beautiful instrument, and for every time that I had to pick it up. It reminded me that without Jesus I would have nothing...or at least that everything I had would mean nothing. Thanking God first kept me humble.

"Play to Play" reminded that what I was doing in the practice room or in jazz band was a form of worship for me. When I was playing in orchestra it spoke to God. It was a prayer of some kind. And when I was playing for the Lord it inspired me to play better. I was reminded who was in the audience.

What it did for me was to make the secular sacred. It's all in the attitude of my heart. I had holy moments playing 'Round Midnight in bars and performing Mozart in concert halls.

What other areas of my life do I do that? How do you do that? In what ways have you made the secular sacred?

Coincidence?

2006-01-30T10:09:00.000-08:00

Last night something amazing happened. Some people were over (Forrest, Clayton, Lani, Sarah, Zac, Claire, Jeremy and Lexie.) We were playing Burnout 3 where you try to get into the biggest crash that you can and total up the most damage. As we were playing Steve Cecil called from Madison, WI. As we were talking he was like, "Whoa!! There's a huge accident here that I'm going by!" We were trying to make an accident, and Steve drove right by one. Coincidence? I think not.

Front Row

2006-01-29T16:37:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago I was in LA for a conference at Angelus Temple (http://www.angelustemple.org) and I had a great experience. The band from their church led the music. It was great. Then the whole band came and sat in the front row to listen to the speaker (which was also great.) I noticed that seeing the band all come down from the stage and give their attention to the speaker motivated myself to engage moreso than I was at first inclined. I thought, "This band is really leading worship, not just playing music. Look how eager they are to hear God's word. I want to hear God's word too!" At least something like that was going through my head.

Isn't that how it would be in an ideal world? The people leading us in what is often called worship are just as passionate about other forms of worship. Worship is not just a set list but a humble attitude turned towards the Creator.

Here's the catch. It's the rule there. The band is paid and part of that includes sitting in the front row during the sermon. You don't want to sit in the front row? Ok, don't play. I've heard a couple side effects of this rule. Some say that it turns hearing God's word into something religious then. Or that it gives a subtle message that sitting in the front somehow is more Holy, or makes you Holy. Or that the inspiration I experienced was manufactured (and therefore bad or wrong or something) because the impression that the band was eager to hear from the pastor was in itself contrived. Maybe they weren't eager for what God has for them to hear. On the other hand, they are getting paid to lead the congregation in worship and I was motivated to worship by seeing them sit in the front row.

Anyways, what do you think? Good rule? Bad rule?

In The Game

2006-01-25T09:38:00.000-08:00

Last night Bryant Sabandal spoke at Uturn. I was really encouraged. The main point was that as a Christian we are in ministry. There are no ifs ands or buts about it...if you call yourself a Christian you are in the ministry. And that ministry is to do good works. We were created to do good works, equipped to do good works, called to do good works, encouraged when good works even when they don't seem to pay off, and encouraged to get in the game because workers are few but the harvest is huge. The pictures he showed of his work in New Orleans were shocking. He walks the talk.

His words brought a couple questions to my mind that I would love to talk about. 1) 70% of Americans say they are Christian. What is a Christian? And 2) Less than 30% of American attend a church service and an overwhelming majority of those (about 65%) are Catholic. It's my experience that most people who have given up on church service attendence have also given up on other practicals of faith (ie. Bible, prayer, purity, generosity, worship, evangelism, etc.) Bryant said that if you are not doing ministry you are not being a Christian. True? False? What do you think?

2005-12-17T02:22:00.000-08:00

Me and Dawn, my favorite girl in the world.