Tim's Blog

Justin & Marissa

I had a lot of fun hangin out with Justin & Marissa tonight. I've known Justin for years. He was actually a student in the youth group in Eau Claire when I was the youth director there. He was up here in Seattle with his girlfriend Marissa visiting friends and seeing the city for the weekend. It's always great to catch up with friends and make new ones. I'm really excited for the opportunities that Justin has in his life right now. I wish we had more than a few hours to hang out. Began some great conversations with them. And I love giving the "Poor Man's" tour of Seattle...aka..."10 Things I Hate About You tour."

One thing we were talking about was personal values. Justin and I live with a lot of the same values; like enjoing creation, relationships, honesty, integrity, having fun, etc. On the other hand, we have taken different roads in life and have some contrasting values. Justin says that he's living in sin according to what he was tought at church. They've been living together for a while which I guess is the most blatent of our value differences. Now, I don't condone dating couples living together, but that would never disqualify someone from being a great friend. Justin will always be a good friend of mine. I was glad that Justin could be honest with me. That means a lot more than being someone you're not. In Justin's words, "Things went well, to the point of Tim actually saying "You do realize that you're talking to a PASTOR right? I'm a pastor!" a sign I wasn't putting up any false fronts about who I am and what I believe."

I dropped them off and invited them to visit Seattle again and stay longer than a weekend. As I was driving home, thinking about how much I like to hang out and talk with Justin and how great it was to finally meet Marissa, I thought about what it would be like to have them over to stay with us sometime. I've never had a couple stay over and share a room when they weren't married. Would it be weird? Is it ethical? Can Dawn and I as pastors invite a couple who's living together and not married to stay at our house? What does that say? Is it loving, accepting and forgiving? Or is it enabling? Would it be different if we weren't pastors? Is it approving of a life style I believe leads to more harm than good?

Either way, Justin's a great guy and I hope to see them again soon.

posted by Tim Oas @ 11:40 PM